maya12-21-2012.com's Official 2012 Forum > MayaSpace

Roo's Patch of Dirt

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Earth.Angel:
May just be random scribblings but they were awesome to read, so expressive I love it Roo!! =)

floop:

--- Quote from: |&|r0o. on June 12, 2010, 12:27:20 PM ---Yeah thanks man.:agree: Some people need to physically vent, but I also think that acceptance of your thoughts/feelings/emotions plays just as large a role. For me, writing all that stuff down was a form of acceptance because by expressing my thoughts I was able to recognise them (I'm a visual person :wnk:), and thus I was able to actually know what I was accepting. Also, when my thoughts were all scattered and confused it was like trying to clutch at smoke, but by writing them down I was able to see the whole picture and then by the end it became a process of working with the text (my thoughts on paper = tangible) to reach a level of consistant understanding (even if that was a recognition of not understanding it). So, by painting a picture of my situation I was able to let it go. ;) Also, I think, just getting through these periods of fear, just experiencing them, is enough. "When it's dark outside hold fast to the great form within" - Lao Tzu. Just have the courage to continue and the fear will pass on its own. I'll prob read this post again in a year and it'll make complete sense in hindsight!

--- End quote ---

Blah blah blah - seriously, how do you say pretentious? What a :rant1:

Like, I JUST got through processing all that stuff myself, and here I am already giving advice. Forgive me guys, sometimes I am very silly! "Illusions of grandeur will hinder your progress" I think I read that somewhere recently...

I think I have uncovered the reason why I try to be something more: I had another realisation today, to do with my perception of reality, which was predominantly negative in my past (in more ways than one). It stemmed from a misunderstood god-realisation experience, the misunderstanding of which had to do with being raised anglo-saxon with a view of the world that was mechanical (reference Alan Watts), ie that there's someone in charge. As we all know Eastern religions are not like this, God and Man are not seperate, they are one, and WE are not created, we grow. So yes, "wow, I'm God.. now bow down servents!". I thought I was THE man. This lead to alot of confusion and pain as I continued to strongly identify with my ego, because, of course, situations arrived that were incomprehensible to the mind.

Anyway, with this mindset you can imagine the responsibility I felt for the world and mankind, like "me, little me, is responsible for all this, no not you Tom or Mia, ME ONLY!" So, I thought I had to do something great to correct everything BUT I ALSO doubted I was up the challange. So, this special, special ego that I am is the King and rules everyone, and has to find a way to fix this world that nobody else is capable of fixing, but doesn't know how to do this, and is afraid he will be ridiculed for not knowing!. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is a superiority complex born of the mind, and has carried through with me even to today. The long paralysing fear I held that kept me in a corner (fear of not being good enough) was born of a secret desire to be superior, or better. Haha, the paradox again!

Not until recently have I realised that yes I am God, but so is everyone else, equally. And that means that we're all "fixing" the world, but also that the world is not broken like you think it is, because the Universe is perfect brother, sister; we are all asisting the transistion to an evolved plane of existence. And.. we're not alone! There really is Spirit, and it's workings, try as he might, Ego cannot understand. Brilliant!

So, with this HUGE weight off my shoulders, I can stop trying so hard to be 'something more' and just be something. All I am required to do is clear my own karmic debt, subordinate my ego, align my chakras, etc, and wait patiently to see if there's anyway that I can be usefull. Wait for things to come to me instead of looking for them, because the reason they're not coming in the first place is because I'm looking for them! Hehe.

Letting go = Freedom. I am great, sure, by also very, very small. The world's popuation will work as a team in regards to the healing, ok mate? So just chill out a bit, we'll call ya if we need ya. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, let's share the burden!

Anyway, POINT IS, sometimes my posts may come across as pretentious and it's because I am trying to be something, because of the experiences of my past, so FORGIVE ME! I am working on it.

CSIWEMBLEY:
the only something you have to be Roo is yourself, "I Am That I Am" .... and that saying applies to everyone ;D


"WE are the ones WE have been waiting for!" CSIWEMBLEY

living_the_illusion:
Roo, you're beautiful.  Subordinated silly ego and ALL.   O:-)

Evo:
no need to apologize :)

i have a habit of reading my posts after i post them, knowing damn well what i said.

sometimes i just let it go, knowing it doesn't matter. so what if you offend someone

so what if someone gets the wrong idea. other individuals perceptions of me are not what i'm in this for, contrary.

Bass to you my Vibration of the One!

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