there has been a mosquito trying to suck my blood for about 5 minutes now. I know he's hungry and all, and I don't want him to starve, but I'd like it if he moved on. I don't remember the last time that I've killed something (on purpose)
humans are strong, and sometimes hard to tolerate, but how can we NOT tolerate them? http://www.google.com/search?q=define:tolerate&aq=0&oq=define tolerate&aqi=l1g1&gs_rfai=CK1iGBsJHTIOlCorAM6CPoYEKAAAAqgQFT9AElHw
impossible without the one escape of killing yourself right? seems like a lot of definitions come down to that.
(HAHAH, that sounds scary, i'm not suicidal obviouslyyy , but those words could be taken in the 'wrong' way :-} <3 <3 <3 )
I haven't seen my soul sister since February? I think... and I found out that I won't be seeing her again until I get back from
which will be on August 6th.....
We'll be on the train in less than 24 hours from now (me, mom, brother). The estimated time for the train ride is 18 hours. I guess the 22nd is a good day to leave. 2 is a good number...
I'm bringing one book, The Celestine Prophecy (
my ipod, with lots more songs on it now! including some mozart for the mind hahaah
Physical things.............. it's hard to pack. I don't remember having a problem packing last two times that I took an ACTUAL vacation. This isn't a problem, but I'm thinking about it a lot. I know I'll have more than I need once I'm there. I hope my mom doesn't want to buy us stuff. I've been telling her lately that I don't need anything. I might act like i want things..... but I REALLY don't have to go shopping for school clothes. I just would like some organic conditioner. I don't remember the last time I washed my hair either hahaha, it's not gross, it's healthy. My hair has made some big decisions for me lately, one being that I'M NEVER DYING IT AGAIN. good thing.http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&q=decision%20one&rlz=1R2ACEW_enUS370&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&biw=1676&bih=846
I'm looking forward to , on this trip, is knowing my brother. I've lost him. He's not even coming home tonight
AND I plan to not use my cell phone while I'm there, unless it's contacting someone else who IS there..
other than... I will call my sister
... on a landline.
MY DREAMS (the ones that I have when i'm sleeping) are becoming more and more vivid. I'm in a routine of writing them down too.
..... i wonder where that mosquito went
I've been meeting some cool people. I'm also getting better at expressing myself to these people that I find crazy because they think I'm crazy ....
we all just have to know nobdy is
just because we're all
,,, when really,
, is just a label.
anyway, I will definitely come back home and here with lots of pictures, stories, and dreams.
since my dad is staying home, he's sad, I can feel it. I hope that tomorrow I can tell him he's the best dad that I could ever have. I used to be jealous of other peoples parents, but we have to love our "parents" that put us here solely for the fact that they DID put us here. Also.... we can share parents, i've always done it without realizing.
I really do love you all, really I do.
I am really.
and my mosquito friend is back, but currently he seems much more interested in the computer screen than in me.
another thing i love..
my house owns all those instruments. more than one of two of them
and one i've been playing for five years.
(there is only one violin in my house and I've been too scared to play it. how awful it must be to learn at first...)