i love you guys... 
the whole world seems to be going through its trials.. life atm for me seems to be about disillusionment on many levels.. it's all getting stripped away.. I can only understand my path when I feel without thinking.. so does that mean I understand it?
what are the implications of us all being one? is this a hologrpahic reality? do my choices affect your life, and vise versa? but where is the source of my choices?
change yourself, change your family, change your town, change you state, change you country, change your world - in that order.. it is important to not mix this up.. it is impossible to bring balance to your country without first bringing balance to your family.. and it is impossible to unite your family without first uniting within.. so do what is required: focus on what's right in front of you.. baby steps.. one foot in front of the other..
sit quietly and ponder on these words.. ask yourself what you are avoiding.. if you are able to.. don't be too hard on yourself.. and remember its always your choice whether you feel fear or not.. if you want, you can chose to never feel fear again.. to work through your life challenges with a clear head.. whilst in meditation, simply ask yourself to be shown your blockages (those things that are blocking you from what you want / need).. ask to get to the core of it..
right now im sprawled out on the living room floor watching a movie and stuffing myself with chocolate, coke (fizzy type not powdered), and chinese food.. having a night off.. avoiding something? probably.. I've been noticing when I'm avoiding something by recognising that I become really hungry for no apparant reason and never seem to feel satisified (no matter how much I eat).. yesterday I had a breakthrough, then I guess again this morning, then the afternoon fell apart, now I'm like a depressed girl pigging out on icecream because her boyfriend broke up with her.. but I am taking baby steps.. walking forwards not backwards, albiet slowly.. and the more I surrender the more I notice spirit entering my life.. I now clearly can see the only thing delaying me is my ego.. probably.. nothing is definite for me these days..
point is we are all going through shit.. we are not alone.. and im pretty sure the quickest way through this for both of us is to face our suffering head on..
so lets do it..
