Just read that whole thing.
I still have NO idea why i am here and just last night was praying and asking to help me find out who i am, why I'm here, what I am supposed to be doing...
Just last night I was aware of how out of place I feel and how empty and alone, off balance I feel... but on the right path none the less.
I never check the time but when I do it's always double digits, too often to bother posting about these days, maybe 20+ times a day, not just clocks but on a lot of other things too.
Everything looks and feels different, even I feel different...
I found that video about the Hebrew letters and that one shape that makes all of them awesome!
If you thought that was interesting, you should look at the actual Nassim Haramein video, 8hrs, he talks quite slow, but he can be funny, he's really cool.
He says about getting techniques of meditation from a 'young master from India', back around 74/75, when he was eleven!
Maharaji came to US From India, via London & first 'proper' Glastonbury festival in '71 age 13. Before the festival, one of the organisers, had a vision, of a golden boy speaking in a pyramid of light, in the 'dragon field', - the origins of the now gone pyramid stage. 23 years it stood! '94 the year it went up in flames, about 6wks before I received 'Knowledge' from my teacher.
It sounds like you're on the right path!
As you become more aware, you can 'bend' life towards your wishes. Take an arrow (hypothetically!), sight your target in the heavens & release. A thread of light connects your heart with the star of your choosing & what it represents.
As for me, ideally, living in a beauiful hobbit hole, built into a 'u shaped' hill, so I can have windows on three sides, (more than Bilbo Baggins!). Obviously a large circular door.
With my beautiful acre of permacultured land, practicing tai chi & the healing arts, etc etc.